It’s nearly the weekend, and you’re bored, bored, bored. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, to ask Madame Arcati to pop ’round on her bicycle for a pep-you-up scéance. Now, you are beginning to wonder, as she seems even dottier than the reputation for summoning up things from beyond the wildest reaches of the imagination led you to expect. Will a vase or two be damaged in the throes of whatever is possessing her? Will she return from the other side safely? Most importantly, will she be able to remove the troublesome apparition of your dear deceased mrs., much missed, but not enough to actually have her still hanging around, looking rather green around the gills, in a fetching way, but interfering somewhat in domestic matters you wished she would just keep her pretty nose out of?
This terribly funny movie has a script to die for by Noël Coward, and the suberb Margaret Rutherford plays the delightfully potty Madame Arcati. A real classic treat from 1945, in Technicolor, despite the fact it looks spooky that way to me, as I remember seeing it first in black and white (pre- our first colour TV, I suppose). I hope you love this witty and wonderful movie as much as I do. Should get you to the weekend laughing.
You know when you’re in the mood to fight evil, and then the Queue seems just too long to bother with, so you leave it too late, then you figure, well I may as well stay in. No point now, right? It’s the big movie event the boys are all talking about, but the traffic’s just hell out there, is an excuse that all your friends will surely understand, or if they are particularly energetic, and just don’t get it that, baby, it’s cooollllddd outside, you could always pretend you were there, somewhere down the back of the Queue, while you tappity tap away, and bring up a nice good vs evil movie to watch from home instead, while pretending to be on the way, and just having some last minute issues with your google map, for finding your way down a straight highway. If you’re too lazy for even that much action, but managed to click once to get here, and haven’t worn yourself out too much, maybe you can manage one more click, to bring the battle to you.
A fun movie for a quiet night in. Who would think it evil, if you snuggled up tight as a Tootsie Roll in your favourite blankie, with the cosy feet built in, and your teddy for comfort, during the really scary bits, for this big battle between good and evil? It feels good to know you don’t even have to go out in the cold, to find out who wins that one.
“Watson, I simply must tell you, old man, the most extra-ordinary thing. You remember Moriarty dropped around yesterday, while I was at my pipe, poking around for information, as usual?” “Why, yes, um, yes, I do Mr. Holmes (hurumph) That awful man.Was he trying to find out why that attractive lady visitor was here yesterday? (thinks, pretty little thing, smiling).”
“Yes, and while he was trying to get information from me, I noticed something flew from his pocket as he retrieved his handkerchief, to blow that large snout of his in. It fell in the fire, as bad luck would have it, but I managed to distract him by cunning means, which, as you know, I’m a master of, and pointed out some new slides I’d obtained of dancing Gibson girls, at a side table. While he was busy rustling about in my intellectual mess, I reached quickly into the fire with a poker, and rescued this!”
“Oh, jolly well done, Holmes. Um, ah, what does it say? It’s rather scrappy and why’s it torn up?”
“Exactly, Watson! WHY IS IT TORN UP? It’s quite clearly something he doesn’t wish to get into the wrong hands, Probably intended to burn it himself, but doesn’t have a Mrs. Hudson about the place, to clear the fire out and light it, and such. I mean, he doesn’t have my charisma, and charm, when it comes to getting ladies to do things for you, when you want.”
“He he. Quite, Mr. Holmes (clears throat). Will Mrs. Hudson be serving buttered crumpets and tea soon, incidentally?”
“Try to concentrate for a moment, my friend, while we await the afternoon tea. This is a bona fide mystery, and I have been furiously playing my violin trying to cogitate on it. I believe I have decoded the document, after carefully unencrypting the scraps, and piecing the information together.” “Oh, really? What does it say, Holmes?”
“It’s an invitation, to a very secret affaire. That’s why he intended to destroy it. Allow me to read it to you.”
(Dramatic pause, while sounds of a teatray rattling downstairs can be heard)
“You are cordially invited to a “Portrait of Q” Art Auction Event, to celebrate Q’s favourite number, and the recent release of the new novel by Donna Emerald, “The Q Affaire”. This exclusive event has been arranged to thank customers who bought the book. Customers who bought the book are now eligible to bid on the only known portrait of Q in existence. Wish to own this beautiful Oil on paper portrait, signed by the artist, Donna Emerald? Then come along to the event where we officially party (and grift off Q) hard, via livestream, to open the one day bidding war in style, so you can start placing your bids on Etsy, and having fun in chat. This is your top secret Q clearance level invite, to the auction of the year, at 4.30pm GMT (check your coordinates, and synchronize your watches, for a zero delta) which promises to go down like an epic stQrm. Be there, or be square. Good luck, Q Patriots!”
“Goodness, Holmes. Q! Why the whole of London has been seeking him. They’ve been seeking him in Bankok and Mexico, too, with rumours of sightings from San Francisco to Moscow, and still he eludes us all, even Moriarty, who is not half so stupid as immediate appearances suggest.” “Yes, Watson. Someone knows his whereabouts, and someone wants to meet in secret. I’m rather curious to get a look at this Q character, finally, aren’t you? Where are my dressup costumes?”
(Door bursts open, making Watson jump, and Mrs. Hudson appears, panting heavily from the climb up the stairs with the teatray, laden down with tea and buttered crumpets, little pots of jam and sugar cubes, tiny milk pitcher of floral design etc.).
“Mrs. Hudson? We need to borrow your best dress. And bring me some glue, immediately.”
Saturday night and not feeling the going out thing much? Then slip your slippiest slippers on and scare the pants off yourself with this Korean horror, one of my personal horror favourites. Curl up and enjoy scares, and some funny moments too, in this great movie, which I dredged up from the internet for you, in all its beastly glory. It’s sure to surprise and delight you, and to make you spill your popcorn all over your couch as well.
First, the trailer, so you can prepare yourself for the show.
Settled in nicely in the dark of your living-room? OK then, brace yourself, and click the image to start the full movie, or the link under it. Not as frightfully expensive as a Saturday night at the movies, and even more fun than walking home in the dark.
On Wednesdays, after a hard morning’s shopping for wine, I like to wind down and uncork a good movie. Seeing as how I was thinking about the Truth Community, and how they like to hold people hostage to their silly scripts, I thought immediately of one of the great movies by Sidney Lumet, Dog Day Afternoon, while I lay around, like a dog in the sun, basking in the glow of the organic wine I’d purchaced. But first, some thoughts on the Community of liars, whose plans to keep me hostage went so wrong.
Ah, wining bigly against the liars that want to keep me hostage. Now, lets kick back, and enjoy a classic movie, in the peace of a Dog Day Afternoon. Here’s the trailer, before the matinee starts.
The script is easier to follow than anything Truthers can come up with. Mind you, truth is often stranger than any fiction scriptwriters, such as those concocted in The Truth Community of the YouTube studios, and the movie was based on a true story, with sensational elements that will make you say Whaaat? Click on the image, or the link below, to be brought to the free matinee. Should liven up your midweek, with a little drama, nicely.