Q’s always on his phone, up to something, and you’d think he’d have been happy enough, posting away for me, about “The Q Affaire” book, now that he’s been promoted from Tea Intern (Q insists he’s a “Tea Operative”, but whatever). No, tho’, that’s not enough to keep him out of mischief, and he’s back recruiting boymen, down on the boards, and little boys too, for his Stoneage troll training farm, not so cleverly disguised as a puzzle. I told him. I said, Q, you start this nonsense up again, with your rubbishy recycled bits of things the magpies dropped in the bushes, I’ll be pulling out your tentpoles, and you can go pitch your droopy tent in some other kindhearted fool’s garden. I’m not helping you train little boys how to steal real men’s identities, before they’ve even got their first girlfriend.
Maybe they have some chance of meeting a nice girl, if they don’t hang out with you, and become trolls, but I know I don’t want them doing what you did, “borrow” a decent man’s identity, to chat up a decent woman, then threaten her with an army of trolls, when she finds out what a sad little boy you are.
He wasn’t happy; but he sees me as a mother figure (I know, it’s complicated), so he looked suitable chastised, with tears welling up in his likkle eyes, at the thought of being tent-pegless, and having to make his way down the river of no return, to camp in someone else’s mommie’s garden. Kids. Whattaya gonna do? He’s out in the tent, sulking, with a big pile of “Punisher” comics, from the Stoneage, to keep him happy. They’ve even got puzzles in the back, which should keep him going tonight, when he’s no internet to post on the boards from. I shall be keeping an eye on my “Tea Operative”, as I don’t trust him in business ventures, if he’s not grown up enough to behave himself. Shame. He’s actually a pretty good secretary (sips tea). Maybe there’s hope for him, He tore off one of the incriminating puzzle posts, and ate it, to destroy the evidence, and I helpfully tore out the other puzzle page , so he wouldn’t choke on the rest.
I also had to give him THE LOOK. It ain’t easy, being an employer and a mommie, to Q. When he’s finished his comics, I may eventually return his phone, but only if he’s a good boy.
Note: This post was originally published as a Newsletter post. If you’d like to sign up, to stay updated on on the latest from Donna’s doings, about books, boys and puzzling plots, click on the link in @TheQAffaire Tweet link, shown below, to receive it weekly, via Email.
Seems Defango has latched onto some new narratives along the way, and teamed up with some new people, for his Hoggbelly and QSlayers campaigns. His old pals, like Cheri, his favourite mod and second mommie, have been left behind for a while, to hold his teeny fort, while he trots through a variety of airports, to escape a subpoena in the Aaron Rich (brother of Seth Rich) lawsuit. The subpoena caught up with him on the same day he managed to avoid falling in an alligator pit, after being nearly trodden on by an astronaut. An exciting holiday, then, for DefangoTV, and he’s been updating us from his hotel rooms, and trying to read those complicated legal documents. Seems the court wants him to hand over all his internet communications, and it all proves to be far more interesting than even the tall tales he and his subs have been putting about of late.
He’d had them well trained already, mind. Years of slavishly following made them dog-like in their devotion, and he set them loose on Twitter, to try to cut a swathe through any conversations anyone else might be having with Thomas, well armed with a Chronically inaccurate map, compiled by a buddy, on what Defango has taken to calling his “BlackTeam”, the maps produced are designed to point out who is on the “other side”, the “White Team”, I guess, although the map colours change regularly, as confusing “layers” are produced exhaustively, by Chronic, who clearly has a bumper pack of felt-tips and a ruler at his disposal, or at least a handy little appwhich helps you target people with precision-ishness, assuming you have a high enough IQ to be able to spell their twitter handle correctly. Defango left the spelling to Chronic, and the other work in his chat to others. They tried to slay my good name in chat, but failed in Twitter, where they couldn’t control the conversation, and all sorts of info about the Black Team started to emerge.I suspected already, since the impersonation phone call and murder allegations had been made against me, that Defango and crew had indeed gone to the dark side, but some of the characters that emerged from under their rocks on Twitter looked like they hadn’t seen the light of the sun in a long time. This tattooed terror, Lestat, I knew already, but some new and disturbing things emerged into the light, along with the tattoo, along with darker aspects of his video work.
Turns out that Lestat likes ’em young, and although the age limit is 16 in some parts of his native Mexico, I’m pretty sure it’s not quite this young. I had heard allegations on Twitter, during the back and forth spats with Defango’s cultish subs, over my refusal to participate in the rather vicious anti-Thomas Schoenberger “Hoggbelly” campaign, and receiving all kinds of insults, started to realise that the people I’d not known very well before, had been tweeting out stuff like this, when I had thought the creepy back tattoo and dark videos were quite enough to be dealing with, let alone having to find out this kind of thing.
While I was still reeling from the idea that Defango really didn’t care what type of folk he associated with (well, it didn’t come as that much of a surprise, but it wasn’t pleasant, finding out just how bad), I found more Nazis, Satanists, and Anarchists crawling about with them, than you could shake a stick at and say shoo. I’ve never had to report so many accounts before, for tweets I had directed my way, like Diane’s lovely friend Anna, who is a Nazi, and has other Nazi friends that wanted me to know how awful Jewish people are, and how ecologically sound Hitler was, in getting rid of quite a lot of them. Diane turned her on to the narrative about Thomas, that he was an awful person, and probably Jewish, and away she went, a woman on a mission.
Turned out that Diane had been recruiting anyone and everyone that would listen to her stories about Thomas, on Twitter, by telling them he was an abusive man, and she the victim of his terrible deeds. She also had a major crush on him still, it emerged in her voluminous tweets on the topic, although she’d never met him. She begged to be unblocked by him, in tweets, before continuing on to berate and denigrate him to anyone she could get to listen.
I came in for a lot of her tirades, as she was convinced that I’d been up to some kind of jiggery pokery with him (though I’d never met him either), which she’d obviously wished she’d been up to herself, the general tenor of her tweets making it obviously that sex was on her mind a lot.
She wasn’t the only lady friend that was giving me what for on social media; back at the ranch, on YouTube, there I was, innocently commenting under a video, when who should spring out of the bushes, but Elizabeth Vering, and she was in a fit of hysterics as well, or at least put me into one with her complaints, as I couldn’t help posting this dittyin reply, though I suspect she’s more the romantic poetry type. I don’t think people will ever really appreciate my sense of humour as much as I do myself, somehow. I had to apologize to the channel owner for the mess in his comments, and back out gracefully, picking leaves from my attire as I retreated, smiling, and luckily, free of any scratches from the prickly bits.
The channel owner had the wit to remove the comments, as they were entirely unrelated to the content of the video, but I, of course, kept them, for my own amusement, and yours. The threat made me giggle, since I know her love of poetry, expressed in rambling comments under various Sofia Musik videos of Thomas’s, and I imagined she might wish to bore me to death with some epic poetry, perhaps Milton’s “Paradise Lost“.
Back on Twitter, the not so epic battle continued to rage, and there were tears tantrums on that rage therapy couch known as Defango’s channel, with everyone in a funk, and Lestat advising Defango to be smarter (how could he, one wonders, since he claims an IQ of over 200?), and say less. I wonder how he’s going to do that, now that everything he’s said over the last while will be all out there anyway? Maybe Cheri can perform some “emotional alchemy”, as she promised me in comments. She’s very keen on that sort of thing , with this the book she’ll use, from her single volume playlist.
Welcome to your Trolling Level 2 Skills for Professional Development course. We hope you have found your way around our YouTube campus, and find our facilities comfy and welcoming. We are all about helping you to learn the skills you need, in a relaxed and friendly environment. As you know, our Level 1 course was a feeder course, an introduction to the topic, and you should already be familiar with the basic skills every troll needs, in order to boost his channel subs, and ego, all at the same time, by use of simple drama and disinfo techniques, to disrupt the unsuspecting non-troll users of YouTube’s platform. You learned also the importance of building friendships, based around trying out these trolling techniques on other users, and why it is important to stay in a herd (incidentally, you have probably already enjoyed our lecture hall environments, where you can use our supplementary study rooms, tucked away quietly in the back, which you can spend time with your chosen groups, to get together to plan and implement your skills).
This semester starts with a demonstration from one of our lecturers providing an example of how a creative approach to truth allows the troll to tinker with it, until it takes on an entirely new shape, an important tactic, and a bolder, Level 2 skill which you need to learn on your way up the troll ladder to success, at least in your own mind. Never mind what the non-trolls think of you, when you have acquired the techniques of lying through your teeth while keeping a straight face, you will, by the time you’ve completed our Level 2 course, be so unable to distinguish which way is up anymore, from all the LARPage you’ve been implementing, that you won’t even notice those annoying normal people laughing their butts off at your attempts to fool people, which simultaneously turning up their noses at you, in disdain. This will cheese you off (you will learn cussin’ skills later on in Level 2, and I’m sure you look forward to putting that tool in your toolbox!!).
Soon you will try to wipe the smiles off the faces of good people, like this, by using every trick in the troll kit to steal their peace of mind, and happiness, and we know how you look forward to that ! We studied these sickening creatures we know as non-troll YouTube users, in our Level 1 course, but for those of you who need a refresher to stay focused, here’s how those monsters of joy we’ll never really understand can be recognised, by their unwillingness to let the troll ply his trade (to heck with PC his/her/its inclusive, ni*ga J*wish f*gg*ty garbage people try to insist on, cos we iz takin’ their last safe spaces away) , unmolested by the truth intruding on the lies.
With no further ado, then, may I introduce that second-rate troll with an professional entry level skill demo you will enjoy. Mr. Manual Chavez, known as Defango down the Tubes, as he tries to pin the blame on Donna Emerald, a non-troll normal channel owner, for the police calling to his house, on a harassment charge, because she turned up in his chat, and pointed out some fibs. He uses the level one skill you are familiar with already; tell lies then quickly blame the someone, anyone, for the mess you’ve gotten into, when the lies aren’t terribly believable (scapegoating was briefly covered at Level 1, and we shall be revisiting it next semester, in more depth), and you run into some bother with the cops (reverse trolling module, covered in semester 1, Level 1).
The new Level 2 skill is to add lies to those you’ve already told, and try to get them spread about as widely by your troll friends and allies, as you can. Loyal subscribers, who have been with you for a while are ideal for this purpose, as they become slave-like and afraid to leave the herd, lest they become the victims of your trolling themselves. They can also provide a source of income, based on whatever narrative you sell them (hey, maybe even give you a place to stay, if you can’t get a job?) , and Level 2 will teach you to turn your skills into cash, as your subscriptions grow. You will need to do the reverse pointy-finger tricks you were introduced to first, in our Level 1 course, and document the LARP for subscribers, as your marketing hook….. https://youtu.be/YwWG3ZOuOsg
…but with this groundwork in place, you will be able to generate that oh so important sympathy, once your subs engage with the narrative you present, and Presto! the cash appears magically, without any real work on your part, except a bit of hand-waving, and maybe a few tears too, if you have a lemon about. This requires a sympathy build-up, that can be tricky to get right, as some subscribers can get a bit turned off by seeing a grown man cry. Or threaten people, for that matter (we’ll be covering how to carefully edit your material, so this beginner’s mistake doesn’t accidentally occur, while you are in character). https://youtu.be/vPtSi_oHF4Y?t=3441
Your friends in chat and comments can cash in on their channels too, by joining in the narrative, and keep the drama and clicks coming. Some channels specialize entirely in narratives, to boost their fragile troll egos, by keeping the clicks coming, and money doesn’t always come through the front door, like the bigger channels have, where you can get subs to throw their cash at you, like elderly Tom Jones’ fans in a knicker frenzy. Of course, having subs who will believe any crazy story you tell, helps a lot.
As you know, from your previous studies, trolls can harvest material from other channel’s narratives, and some of those apple-faced, lovely granny elderlemon trolls can tell the best stories around, and joining forces with other channels is always something to consider, no matter how big your ego is, in the effort to develop those all important professional skills further, build your business up more, or just help the circle of friends to use the drama as a troll tool to help get more subs and cash clanking into the Patreon buckets, as your skills improve. All this comes with the skills already learned in Level 1, and don’t fret, because it’s not true what they say about your nose growing the more you do it, or the better you get at it. Do it right, and the only inflation that will occur will be to your own ego, and the number of both troll-subs, who enjoy participating actively or in supportive roles in the drama, and stunned gawkers as well, who can’t believe that anyone can believe it (how to test these sort of subs’ loyalty, for potential use as flying monkeys will be covered in module 4).
So, now you can see the learning experience that is your stepping stone to a viable career on the Tubes, and endless fun to be had with your friends, in chat and comments. Staying with the herd can have benefits, but cast your net wide, when it comes to creativity, as the world’s your burrito, just there for the taking.
Blast those non-fun-loving normies with both guns blazing, and soon you’ll leave them in the dust, and maybe even have the show you want, the only thing on the Tubes tonight. Go gettem’. Chaaaaarrrge!
Updates: The Ministry For Truth have deemed Defango’s old videos worthy of expunging from the records, since dissidents like Donna were spoiling the whole show, by exposing the inner torture sanctum, Room 101, to the light of day.
She's even trying to blame her recent Elderlemon Welfare visit on me, based on a lie she knows to be false, her and Defango's claim I rang the cops on him. Her name was shown, right in police records, which dopey Defango Tweeted, much to everyone's mirth at the time. pic.twitter.com/w0n1bIHJ6I
Defango like a good citizen, stays in his zone, while his lol-gran, Denise, continues to insist that Dissident Donna made the call to Big Brother, to get the police to Defango’s, because she didn’t get the update memo, naming Tanya the Terrible of Cornwall as the clever culprit. She’s also claiming she’s not hanging out with the old gang any more, even though she’s written a letter to help one of them out, to de judge. That secret pigeon post was found on a Twitter tree, and now the other gang are not pleased. What a shootout, down the Tubes! Duck!
* [Interesting Update: See Mindy‘s Tweet of 11th May, 2021, where she claims SHE reported Defango to police, despite the fact that the number’s registered to Tanya, on the police report! Hmmm. Guess who told me Tanya had “admitted” to the ‘phone call? Yep. Thomas Schoenberger. The plot thickens, again, what?}
Thomas’s latest offering, where he finally gets the gumption to show his face (he’s got a bit of a shyness issue, and likes his privacy, but enjoys invading others’ rights to privacy regularly). He addresses some of his critics, face out, in mumbo Italiano, and taunts them in a level 1 troll demo, and rounds it off with a brief reminder of his brilliance as a composer, and puzzler.
Bonus Material NEW: I now have a line of YouTube merch, featuring all your favourite trolls. Here’s a prototype, and the link to my shop, should you fancy a T-shirt of your favourite YouTuber. No pressure ‘tho; Whaddya tink I am, a goddam troll or sometin’?
Psst: There’s a new book out, too. “The Q Affaire”. Available in the one stop merch shop, juzz fer you.
Anyone who read the strange story of my online romantic entanglement with the man who was insisting he is Q, the shadowy operative that is helping Trump from behind the scenes, will be eager to know if there were any new developments. Everyone loves a happy ending, or at least an ending that makes sense, and I’m here to give you some closure, dear reader. If you’ve no idea what I’m rambling on about, the best place to start is to read my last post, or just watch the movie of the mess that is the norm in my love life. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, but I hope you’ll find it entertaining, at least.
The cutie pictured here, it turns out, is a man called Ross Mills, although it took me a while to find out that the man claiming to be Q, who told me his real name was Jack Quinlan, wasn’t the man in the pictures he provided me, that he said were of him. Mr. Mills, it turns out, was a Rifleman in the A Company in The Royal Marines, pictured here in Helmand, Afganistan, in 2011. The photographer, Alison Baskerville won a portrait award for this piece, and I eventually found it online, using Bing instead of my usual search engines. Who knew Bing would ever return a decent search result? It seems “Jack” just has the same good taste in guys as myself, not surprising, since he made sure to find out as much as he possibly could about me, while we were having our little tête a têtes in Twitter. He told me little about himself, ‘cos he was waaay deep undercover, working for Trump, but he did tell me the following bit about his head injury, received in childhood, after which he became something of a prodigy, whose talents made him an indispensable asset to the NSA, and which enabled him to download to his mind all the information that would help him become the genius that created the puzzles which kept the internet solvers working away for years.
A retelling in YouTube comments of “Jack’s” story. From this video.
Life is full of surprises, and Jack had told a lot of tall tales over the course of the six months we were in a foxhole in Twitter Direct Messages together, so when it started to smell fairly funky in there, I started digging my way back up to the surface, but the more I questioned everything, as Q had reminded me to do, the more he leaned on me to keep quiet, telling me that enemies were everywhere, and if I stuck my head above the parapet, and shot my mouth off, that I wouldn’t make it out in one piece, as the whole QArmy would aim their weapons in my direction (helpful hint to guys, never tell a woman anything you don’t want the world to know, and for goodness sake, don’t tell her not to talk at all, particularly if you’ve p*ssed her off).
Having been somewhat involved in Discordian groups in Facebook, I was aware of the Cicada3301 puzzle, and through Jack became more familiar with some of the issues discussed in the Q posts. Jack liked a puzzle as much as I did, cross words being one of his favourite type of expressions in many of our comms., and he certainly gave me hell when I didn’t agree with everything that was said in the Qdrops.
Schrödy having a big ol’ time as Q, in my comment section.
He often pumped me for what I made of this or that post, or quizzed me about whether I had read and researched the links he’d provided in chat, asking me questions, sometimes telling me I’d failed or passed the test he’d set for me. I had my own test for him, after he’d provided me with photos he’d said he had taken inside the White House, on Christmas Eve (2018), some inside the Oval Office, others in the corridors, and North portico. Up until then, we had been talking on all sorts of topics, and puzzles were just one of his many interests, but after he threatened the wrath of the Q army descending upon me, when I didn’t seem to be getting down with the Plan convincingly enough for him, I took a look at some of the materials he gave me, and came to the inescapable conclusion that I had fallen prey to the man who likes a laugh at other people’s expense.
Certainly all roads seemed to point to Rome, or all fingers to Thomas. Time was running out for some of his special ops too, it seemed, if some of the videos exposing the players around him were to be believed.
A lot of folk on our end of the Tubes had been giving him the middle finger for a while now, but then he’s a guy that had a finger in a lot of pi[es] himself, so he’s hardly surprised that fingers are getting pointed in his direction now.
Now, while I wouldn’t have minded THIS guy’s fingers on me all that much (yep, one of the photos Jack/Q/John the titlover Thomas sent me, that he claimed were of himself [snorts with laughter at the idea of a man with a bod like this wanting to rub shoulders, or anything else against me without pressing the KILLSWITCH to UNBOLT, and fast!]), I’m not sure that Tricky Thomas would have scored such a hit. Pause and admire, ladies.
Thomas the Tank shows off his Q pants at the gym
Compare and contrast.
The avatar sometimes known as Schrödinger’s cat on YouTube, as well as a huge variety of other identities, in lots of places, is still weaving his magic and spinning it for all he’s worth, with new messages arriving from different accounts every time I open my Email, and of course, not forgetting the Skype account that appeared in my Contacts window, that segued before my eyes, from his Lion username into his imaginary NSA boss maggie mcrbee’s account, before finally settling into the ready for further use Your Name.
Your Name (previously maggie and Lion) last message on Skype before blocking
junoanon Email 22nd March 2019
I particularly like how consistent he’s being with his narrative, in the latest one, while making to disappear into the ether, but keep a bridge open for me, coming and going like a quantum rainbow cat (too many mixed metaphors? Licking a rainbow for too long’ll do that to you, and Q is the source of much confusion, which many are trying to get to the bottom to, coming up with various theories about who the Q team are), so I can hold handies and cross the rainbow bridge into the imaginary but colourful future with him. Maybe it’s just as well that the rainbow retreats as you approach it, after all; it’s tempting to live in dreams, when they are so sweet. But you don’t need 42 degrees to your name to figure out that there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and you must pay for your pleasures. In fact, you accused me of wanting payment for keeping my mouth shut about what you were up to. Oh, and don’t forget to bring a towel with you , on your travels, as you’ll probably need it. That road to the rainbow can be darn dusty, without a car. Even with, you’ll need to bring a gas can with you. Just in case.
The answer to everything with spelling mistake, unintentional [ON THE MOVE] Q
Bonus Material: A puzzle to help you combat that ever-lurking evening ennui., instead of the crosswords you often lose yourself in. With Thomas the forever young Time Traveller the time is sure to fly by. Can you help him find B, by 2020, so he can pop the Question? You would really be helping him out, ‘cos I get the distinct impression that he’s between girlfriends at the moment.
Jack’s been tweeting out my private DMs to him as well, to, wait for it, Potus (‘cos he’s Q, an’ all, and they work together, you know). His couple of followers? puzzlepalace, and, drumroll, Thomas. Guess he’s his own biggest fanclub, and still is pretty hung up on me. Some folks find it hard to let go.
In the interest of fairness, I should include Thomas’s interview about the matter of Jack/Q. To sum up, in brief, he knows the guy’s name, is in contact with him, is fine with him, and wants to prove the Emails are from different addresses, was my take on it. But watch it for yourself, and make like Q. Question everything, and eat your hat if you’re wrong about predictions (well, no, I don’t think Q ever said that, I just made it up now).
Thomas’s recent tweets that signalled the start of the smear campaign he promised (see has comments below this post), have been deleted by him, as a conciliatory gesture, and the truce declared. Let’s hope that Q comes out of the foxhole and gives up soon too.
Latest update, Nov., 2019: Jack finally admits he’s Thomas, in his Schoenberger ‘s cat avatar, under one of Thomas’s videos! He says he doesn’t care who knows it, so now you know. Who cares?
More comments Jack made under the same video (original video on which comments appeared linked in the previous image, above) This video with a selection of the comments is from the channel of the husband of the woman he is commenting about.
Others are enjoying the idea of Thomas being a bit of a crazy cat guy, too, and came up with their own imaginative ideas of how Thomas the cat might look, while scampering about over the keys, typing away in comments. The link ends in an 8. Jack’s lucky number! Do the happy dance there, puss.